Life sucks, love isn’t real, and food is the only source of happiness. I created this theory – yes, it is a theory, not just an angsty hook used to start this blog post – randomly in my senior year college apartment after a very long and stressful day. Nothing went right all day, everyone was getting on my nerves despite no one actually doing anything to me, and I was so excited to make one of my famous avocado and egg burgers on a pretzel bun, only to accidentally set off the fire alarm while frying it up. You know, just one of those days.
But in order to actually understand the meaning behind this seemingly dark and pessimistic theory, I first need to explain a different theory of mine – the Life Color Theory. Once again during my senior year in college – before the burger/fire alarm fiasco – there was a student speaker competition associated with the TEDx organization. I have always wanted to give my own TED Talk, so as soon as I heard about the competition I planned to apply and try out. I soon realized that it would be much more difficult than I at first assumed when I read that the theme of the event was “a meaningful life.”
Now, something you need to understand about me is that I am really good at pretending like I know what I’m doing or talking about – all those years obtaining a liberal arts degree paying off – but, like most people, I’m taking everything one day, and one step at a time. Being a 21-year-old at the time, having less than 6 months before I would graduate with no legitimate plans for my future or job prospects, and constantly being stressed, overwhelmed, and tired (the Holy Trinity of the Class of 2020 emotions), I truly had no idea how I could give a talk about a meaningful life. But, like I said, I really wanted to give a TEDtalk. So, I did what I did best: made something completely up an hour or so before the deadline, adding some pop culture references along the way, and relying heavily on really bad jokes. The result, however, was something that I was truly proud of, and something that has since changed the way I view the world, people, and yes, even love.
One day I’ll make a website of my own, or write a book or at least a pamphlet or something fully explaining the Life Color Theory (it’s a shame I haven’t had 9 months where we had to stay isolated and indoors that I could have taken advantage of and been productive). But for now, all you need to know is that similar to the real Color Theory – primary, secondary, and tertiary colors, etc – there are three primary different types of people in the world: Achievers, Dreamers, and Lovers. Achievers, represented by the color yellow, hold very high aspirations and expectations for themselves. Dreamers, represented by the color blue, often set themselves up with very unrealistic or impractical goals. Lovers, represented by the color red, value relationships and friendships above all else, and believe that if you change one person’s life, you change the world. There are also additional secondary and tertiary types of people – all represented by a different color – that combine those main three types together. In case you’re more of a visual learner, I have attached photographs of each individual who fall in each of those three categories below, as well as the entire Life Color Wheel.
But what happens when you try and mix a bunch of those colors together? You’re a lover deep down, but feel like you need to match other people in their achievements, or you remember certain dreams you had as a kid and think you need to fulfill them. What happens when you forget what your true and original color is, and you cover yourself in a slew of all of the different colors, masking your own true state? The same thing that happens when you mix all colors of paint together - you get a dark, gross, black paint. Or in the terms of the Life Color Theory, you enter “The Dark Place.” In this dark place, there are no colors. No goals and aspirations. You have put so much on your plate that you can’t possibly handle it all. You try to reach your achievements, while still fulfilling your dreams and maintaining relationships, and you keep that all on your paint on the inside, and your hands and the original paint that you were born with and identified when you were so young, are soiled. You end up “loving” working to get your achievements that you will never reach because you’re dreaming about a love that you’re letting slip away while you achieve none of your real dreams.
But you can also view color through a different lens: light. As the Life Color Theory states, since we are all a color, we also emit that color’s wavelengths (due to the basic physics of how light works - google it, I have a word limit for this blog). If you’re an achiever, you emit yellow, lovers red, dreamers blue, etc. So if someone emitting a red wavelength comes to me, and interacts with me enough, their light will shine onto me. And then if someone with a blue wavelength comes to me, and interacts with me enough, their light will shine onto me. And eventually, if enough light and enough wavelengths shine onto me, no matter what color paint, or what color I am on the wheel, all of these lights will come together to form the opposite of that dark depressing paint: a bright white light. That bright light is where a meaningful life is located.
Long story short - and yes, this was the brief explanation of the theory - despite everyone having a different destination of what a meaningful life is as determined by what your color on the color wheel is, we can all reach it the same way: by connecting, learning from, and loving one another.
Then how, you may ask, can I have one theory so positive and uplifting like the Life Color Theory, and one so negative like the first one I mentioned? The answer is that I don’t believe either theories are inherently positive or negative. Both emphasize the need to go out and make your own life positive.
Life truly does suck sometimes. This year has shown that pretty extensively. And I’m well aware that burning my dinner every now and then, getting caught in the rain waiting for the bus, or any other slew of problems that I have to deal with on the regular are not nearly as devastating and difficult as problems many others are suffering through. And so, if you realize that, and you realize that no matter who you are, where you are, and what you’re doing, something will go wrong at some point, then you are able to accept it quicker, fix it, move on, and try to help others who may be struggling more.
Getting your hopes up for a Netflix original or Hallmark Christmas movie romance will only end up with you getting disappointed. A “true love’s kiss” will not cause a comatose patient to wake up. And “love at first sight” sounds a whole lot more like lust than real love to me. But as the Life Color Theory states, that does not mean that you shouldn’t still attempt to go out and make connections with others. In fact, while that romcom fake love might not be real, a different form of love is, and it is the way to make those connections in order to reach the bright white light: Agapic Love.
Agapic love is the love shared from God to humankind. Unconditional, selfless, and ever present: God loves all of his creations. We, in turn, not only need to hold this agapic love for God, but also for one another. Be with others, and care for them as if they have been your best friend for years. Listen to them, find common interests, and try to be a light to fill a darkness in their lives that you might not even know exist. But the most important part: do not expect anything in return. They might not want to make a connection with you for whatever reason. Maybe they’re in The Dark Place and are not mentally able to share their light. That is okay. Because agapic love does not require you to get anything in return. But when their light is ready, and they feel that agapic love for you too, you will feel better, happier, and brighter - and who knows maybe it can even turn into a romantic Netflix original love story eventually too.
Bob Goff writes in his book, Everybody Always, that “God wants me to love the ones I don’t understand, to get to know their names. To invite them to do things with me. To go and find the ones everyone has shunned and turned away. To see them as my neighbors even if we are in totally different places. You’ll be able to spot people who are becoming love because they want to build kingdoms, not castles. They fill their lives with people who don’t look like them or act like them or even believe the same things as them. They treat them with love and respect and are more eager to learn from them than presume they have something to teach.” That is agapic love. That is the love that we should share with each other in order to reach the bright white light. And that is the love that Jesus has for us every day, and especially now in this second week of Advent.
Also, if you don’t get happy eating a big bowl of Mac and cheese, a warm brownie with vanilla ice cream, or an avocado and egg burger on a pretzel bun I truly do not know what to tell you.
Written By Our Revealer: Matt Davis
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